The One With The Horns
by Sara6
Summary: A potion is botched, jokes are made, and Harry has an unexpected fetish.


Title: The One With The Horns Author: Sara Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Harry/Draco Summary: A potion is botched, jokes are made, and Harry has an unexpected fetish. Notes: Hey, look! It's that nebulous, somewhat implausible future time where Harry and Draco are boyfriends and everyone knows! Just go with it. Archive: My site, PSA, Silverlake. Otherwise, ask. Feedback: Coveted, and responded to. LizParker285@hotmail.com Dedication: For Zahra. Disclaimer: Rowling made them, I just made them touch each other.  
  
"It is extremely important that each ingredient is measured exactly. This potion is simple enough to mix, but when not done correctly the results can be disastrous. This shouldn't take long, but be careful. Begin." Professor Snape sat down at his desk, watching as his seventh year class started work on a potion that would (if made correctly) cause the drinker's fingernails to grow. It was only really useful to Goths and teenage girls, but it was right before Christmas break and Snape didn't particularly feel like teaching them anything more complicated.  
  
Harry stared at the table in front of him and tried to concentrate on what he was doing. It was difficult enough for him to pay attention to anything when Draco was right *there*, just a few inches away, close enough to touch, but then he had to go and initiate a game of footsie.  
  
"Twelve puffer fish eyes," Draco whispered into Harry's ear.  
  
"Mmm," Harry murmured. Draco had slipped off one of his shoes, and was sliding his toes along Harry's ankle. It was all rather distracting. "What?"  
  
Draco barely resisted the urge to grin. "For the potion. We need twelve."  
  
".Right," Harry said. He lowered his voice. "Do you have to do this here? We're in *class*, Draco. Snape is right there."  
  
Draco moved a bit closer, gesturing to the small pile of shining black eyes. "Remember when I used to flick these at you years ago? I can't believe you never realized I was just trying to get your attention."  
  
"I remember. You were an annoying little bastard."  
  
"I'm wounded, Harry." Draco drew back, clutching at his heart. "You've offended me. Just for that, I'm going to deny you sex."  
  
Harry looked at him.  
  
"Or possibly do something else that I'll actually follow through on."  
  
Harry allowed himself a small grin. "Were you planning on helping me out with this? Or were you just going to tease me?"  
  
Draco looked interested. "Which would you prefer?"  
  
"Don't ask me difficult questions when I'm trying to work. Here, slice these." He slid a few roots over to Draco and started adding the puffer fish eyes to the small cauldron in front of them.  
  
"All work and no play makes Harry a dull boy," Draco observed.  
  
"I'll play with you later."  
  
"Is that a promise?"  
  
"Get to work, Draco."  
  
*  
  
"I don't want to take it," Draco said, staring at the grayish-purple potion they had just completed. "It looks toxic."  
  
"It's fine. And it's your turn," Harry reminded him. "I took the potion last time."  
  
"Yeah, but-"  
  
"Potter," Snape interrupted. "Malfoy. I believe it is now time to see if your potion works."  
  
Draco scowled and took up the potion, swallowing it quickly. He then held out a hand, waiting for his nails to grow.  
  
He waited.  
  
And waited.  
  
"How long does this ta- ow!" Draco cut off, raising his hand to clutch at his forehead.  
  
"What?" Harry asked, alarmed.  
  
"My head, it's -ow! Ow! Ow!" He gripped his forehead tightly.  
  
"Draco," Harry said worriedly. "Are you okay?"  
  
"No, I'm not okay, there's something- I'm bleeding!" He looked at his hands. "Why am I bleeding?"  
  
Harry and Snape stared in shock as two small, pointy red horns slowly grew out of Draco's forehead. They had barely cracked the skin, but a few droplets of blood were welling at the base of each horn.  
  
Draco frowned. "It's stopped. It doesn't hurt anymore."  
  
Harry, Snape, and the rest of the class stared openly.  
  
"What? What is it?" Draco said, annoyed at being the center of attention without knowing why.  
  
Harry pointed to Draco's forehead. "You- um. You have." He stopped. "Your head, it's. It's. Um."  
  
"Why do I get the feeling," Draco said slowly, "that I really, really do not want to know?"  
  
In the desk behind them, Hermione and Ron sat looking torn between horror and amusement. Hermione reached into her schoolbag and pulled out a small mirror, silently handing it to Draco.  
  
Frowning, Draco reached for it and looked. His expression went from curiosity to shock to annoyance in moments, until he snapped it shut and handed it back. "I was right," he said. "I didn't want to know."  
  
Ron grinned. "Camera?" he asked. "Please, does anyone have a camera?"  
  
The class, at that moment, seemed to realize the humor in the situation, and the room was suddenly filled with the sound of twenty students giggling.  
  
"Professor Snape," Draco said pleadingly.  
  
"You may go see Madame Pomfrey," Snape said.  
  
Draco moved to stand.  
  
"When class is over," Snape finished, looking more amused than Harry would have thought possible. He moved on to the next table.  
  
Seamus, who sat at the table next to them, looked as delighted as a young child at Christmas. "So, Draco," he said conversationally. "I guess it's safe to say that Harry makes you horny?"  
  
"I'm going to kill you and all your friends, Harry," Draco said seriously.  
  
Harry reached up and tweaked his horn, grinning madly. "Don't worry, Hot Stuff. It could be worse. I could have given you a halo."  
  
"I hate everything," Draco announced, putting his head in his hands, then immediately pulling them away. "Ow!" he said, holding out his finger, which had a small drop of blood on it. "It stabbed me! The horn stabbed me!"  
  
"Wow," Seamus observed. "You're like, dangerously horny."  
  
Draco reached for his wand.  
  
"Come on, Draco," Harry said. "There's no need to resort to magic."  
  
Draco stared at him.  
  
"Anyway," Harry continued. "You could always use your pitchfork."  
  
Behind them, Ron was laughing so hard he was choking. Hermione patted him on the back, trying very hard not to grin. "This is the best day ever," Ron said fervently, gasping through his laughter.  
  
Draco glared at anything that happened to be within his line of sight.  
  
"Class dismissed," Snape announced, prompting groans from Ron and Seamus and muffled giggles from everyone else.  
  
Huffily, Draco stood. "I blame you for this, Harry," he said. "You messed up the potion. You will pay."  
  
"Aw, come on, Draco," Harry said, still grinning. "It's not that bad."  
  
Draco looked murderous. "I have. *Horns*. On my forehead. *Horns*, Harry."  
  
"Sorry?" Harry said insincerely.  
  
"Walk me to the infirmary," Draco demanded.  
  
"Right." He waved to Ron and Hermione. "See you guys later."  
  
They waved back, Hermione mouthing "good luck" before leaving.  
  
Harry managed to get his smile under control as he accompanied Draco to Madame Pomfrey's office. "Do they hurt?" he asked tentatively as they walked through the hallway.  
  
"No," Draco said sullenly.  
  
"Good," Harry said, and grabbed Draco's hand, tugging him into an empty corridor.  
  
"Harry, what-" Draco started.  
  
"Shh." Harry backed him up against a wall and kissed him hard.  
  
Draco stared, surprised, as Harry finally pulled away. "Not that I'm complaining, but-"  
  
Slowly, Harry leaned forward and stood on his tiptoes, then licked Draco's left horn.  
  
Draco inhaled sharply.  
  
"Good?" Harry asked.  
  
Draco nodded. "Do it again."  
  
He slowly ran his tongue over the other horn, and started lightly sucking on it.  
  
"Careful," Draco gasped, just as Harry pulled back suddenly.  
  
A small drop of blood welled on Harry's lower lip. "It got me," he said.  
  
Draco grabbed Harry by the collar and pulled him forward, capturing his lips roughly. He slid his hands under Harry's robes as he sucked on Harry's lip, flicking his tongue over the small wound.  
  
"You're sucking my blood," Harry murmured. "You're like a vampire or something."  
  
Draco pulled back. "You hardly have room to talk, you- horn fetishist."  
  
"What? They're kinda sexy," Harry said as a slight blush colored his cheeks.  
  
"Of course they're sexy," Draco said in a tone implying that there could be nothing more obvious. "It is me we're talking about here."  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "Come on. Let's get you to the infirmary."  
  
"Or we could go back to my room and you could suck on my horns some more," Draco suggested.  
  
"Draco!" Harry said, appalled.  
  
"What?"  
  
Harry thought about it. "Okay. Infirmary tomorrow, though. Definitely."  
  
"Right."  
  
They headed for the Slytherin dorms, Draco occasionally pausing to fondle his horns.  
  
"Oh, and Harry?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Next time *you're* taking the potion."  
  
".right."  
  
End 8/21/02 


End file.
